That is Rowan's order.
Two sisters, please.
Named Rose and Moose.

Well, maybe not.
But maybe so (except for the named 'Moose' bit).

We are working towards adopting.
Given the time frames and many unknowns, we don't say much about it yet, other than to acknowledge it is 'in our plans'.  Perhaps this reticence goes back to our first adoption experience.

When Rowan was 18 months old we completed a home study and were in the queue to adopt through an American agency (in a southern state)~ we are in Canada.  At the time (2007) the Hague Convention was just coming into full effect in the USA and we were expecting (on good authority) to be 'grandfathered' in (changes under the Hague included not being able to process international adoptions through an agency or third party).  there were more babies due than families to adopt them in the month of September when the agency called to tell us that the State Department closed up all their Canadian files.  So here we sat, ready and waiting for a newborn child~ immigration papers in hand and we were out in the cold. End of story.

And that took a lot of getting over, really. 
Adoption itself had always been a welcome possibility for us.  Having struggled with infertility issues and an incredibly difficult pregnancy, and now living in a more remote (to services) area, pregnancy didn't make a lot of sense. But the home study process, the soul searching and boundary setting was heart rending at times~ we literally had to go through pages upon pages of health issues and social history possiblities and put down in black and white a yes or no to a legion of  choices.  Alcohol use in pregnancy? Family history of schizophrenia? Club foot? Cleft Palette? Child of rape?

And that is incredibly difficult, leaving you feeling wrung out and like a horrible human being because you have had to say no to some children, who deserve to be loved, based on facts beyond their control (and what would you do if it were your biological child where such choices are not available?).  In the end we settled on a profile that matched our own family history, risks and so on, while also considering what we could afford (a premature child needing heart surgery in a US hospital while we sit up North in Canada? Not possible.).


Ready and waiting for a phone call... only to receive a call that our file was closed, permanently.

It has taken several years to come back around to the idea.
We have tested our will and explored our sense that our family is not yet complete.
We have talked and prayed and decided that this is true, we are not yet complete.
And so we made that great big scary leap into the public adoption process (through the Children's Aid Society~ adopting a Crown Ward/ ward of the state).  I say 'big and scary' because no matter which way you slice it, your child will have come through the foster care system, whether at its worst or best.  Unlike an open private adoption, where a mother has chosen adoption for her child, in most public cases, the children have been apprehended from families unable to care for them.  So along with the grief of losing their birth family, no matter their age, comes the potential of a traumatic, even abusive history.
In Ontario, all applicants are required to take the PRIDE training (30 hours).  We went into this earlier this year with apprehension, but came out fully committed to this course~ there are children who need parents and we are parents who need children, who want them and have love, patience and a safe place to give.  We know our limits and our resources.  We know where we can go for help. It won't be easy.   We know that.  But when is parenting ever easy?

So at this point we have been given the hopeful indication that our Home Study will be completed in the next few months (vs. first indications that the backed up system would take 1-2 years). And then we are good to go!  Our hope (knowing that sometimes God has other plans than what we have decided!) would be to adopt 1 or 2 children (siblings) younger than Rowan, preferably preschool aged to allow for bonding time before the leap into school.  For bonding across age and genetic differences, we really do hope for a daughter or two, but again, we are open to what the universe has in store!

So that catches you up (I know, you didn't ask!).  I just thought I would share, so that as this becomes a more prominent part of our lives, we can continue to share our journey! ♥