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Monday, 29 August 2011
...when we last left our intrepid heroine (me!) the six layer rainbow cake has slid like an avalanche down an Alpine slope...
It was 4:45 on Friday afternoon.
Party scheduled for Saturday at 1 pm.

With the all the ingenuity of a Pinterest addict, I formulated a hasty back up plan based on a rampant post-cupcake trend..
Cake balls.
While I had no idea what they entailed, I knew that there was smashed up cake involved.
I had smashed up cake.
It just. might. work.

A valiant leap to my Pinterest page revealed the need for canned icing, smashed up cake and melting chocolate. 
I had the first two.
It was now 4:50 pm.
Our small town boasts one bulk store that closes at 5 pm.

In my rainbow encrumbed (it's a word, right?) garments I flew out the door and made it to the shop just before closing and seized upon the last two bags of Mercken's melting wafers (white).

Once I removed my white steed (ok, white minivan) from the crooked parallel parking position in which I had left it, I rode valiantly home and sent the following text to brave companion:
"OMG help! Cake fell! Come help me make cake balls"
(Oh, the ballads that will be sung in future generations, of my noble eloquent rallying cry...)

OK. This saga business is wearing me out.
Let's talk turkey.

Cake Balls.
Cake pops. Cake truffles, if you must.
I like the directions here.
Basically this: a bunch of smashed up cake, moistened with canned icing and rolled into balls.
Place in freezer for one hour or more.
Remove, insert lollipop stick (we have a case of 10 000 in our home. Seriously. Long Story.).
Dip in melted chocolate stuff.
If desired, add sprinkles before chocolate hardens.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

Right?
Watch this.

Cake into bowl.
Mash it all up.
Make balls.
However, if your cake was rainbow... you end up with balls approximately the colour of spinach (and that is NEVER a good thing).
After chilling, add sticks.
Okey dokey.
Enrobe in chocolate.
...erm... I don't have any pictures of this step because it was a massive failure.

Did you know if you heat your chocolate too much it thickens up? Yep.
And if you think putting it in the microwave, no matter how briefly, will thin it out, think again.
It turns into a hideous smelly brown burnt powder.
Try THAT on your cake balls.
And should you have even a smidgen of appropriately textured chocolate, your giant cakeballs are going to fall off of the sticks into the chocolate and fall apart when you fish them out, leaving you with white chocolate peppered with chunks of electric purple and spinach green?
And that no mater how many times you tell yourself "They are 6, they will eat it!" you know in your heart they won't?
And then you will realize that if all you have are 50 bajillion khaki cake balls painted with (yes, painted, we painted the chocolate on) white chocolate and sprinkles (all hail the sprinkles rack!) you have no place to put the candles for your daughter to blow out?
And that once you stuck a cake ball on the plate, any attempt to remove it would result in the fracture of its painted on shell?
Bet you didn't know all that.

Despite my friend Naomi's best attempts to cheer me up and assure me that the cake balls would be a hit, I was downcast.
(And I will say that her best attempt was to eat a cake ball and declare 'It's delishishh!' through gray green coated teeth).

It was now 9 pm Friday night.
Party set for 1 pm Saturday.

And still no cake.
As darkness fell, spirits plummeted and it seemed that all was lost...

...stay tuned for the final chapter of this gripping tale...

10 comments:

Julie said...

Oh no! I'm sorry, I couldn't help but laugh "...and declare 'It's delishishh!' through gray green coated teeth" I'm sure they were. :-)

Jen@thecraftingfiend said...

haha. oh my. I was thinking this morning 'I wonder what she did with the fallen cake?" and I thought I should've told you to do cake shish-ka-babs. they would've looked all pretty and rainbow colored. just on shish sticks

Tanya said...

I was saying Oh no and giggling at the same time as I read this.

Tawny said...

I did know that about chocolate in many failed attempts at making the most delicious Christmas chocolates that ended in tears and burnt chocolate. I did find out that you can add milk to thin out the chocolate though. :)

Eagerly awaiting the end of the tale.

Rachel@I Heart Crafty Things said...

Oh you poor thing!! Ok, reading about it is rather funny but seriously, I am pretty sure I would have had a nervous breakdown! I can't wait to read the final chapter!

Leslie said...

I'm on the edge of my seat here...! lol!

Little Wonders' Days said...

Oh, I hate all this happened to you! I know how imporatant it is for mom to make everything special. I have yet to make successful cake balls. I'm hoping for a silver lining in your story!

Rachel C said...

Seriously they always make this stuff look so easy, but this is exactly the type of thing that occurs every time I try to make anything cake related. I'm not even going to kid myself into thinking that I could make cake balls. At this point in the story I would be mixing up a 99 cent cake mix in a cake pan and loading it with sprinkles!

Lori @ Beneath the Rowan Tree said...

Thanks for the sympathy :)
I promise it all works out in the end ;) I will try and finish writing tonight!

MamaWestWind said...

I'm so sorry about your rainbow cake disaster turned cake ball problems! LOL, just saying that cracks me up! This post is hilarious! Can't wait to read the next post in the saga! And I feel so guilty for saying that because I know that terror- even the day of party and I have no cake because I completely screwed it up. LOL

Becca

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